Have you ever heard the phrase “being lonely in the middle of a crowd”? Depression makes this feeling even more intense, and worse still – it can become self-fulfilling. It’s difficult to be social, and sometimes it’s just easier to[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I just randomly came up with a number. If I started numbering my episodes, we’d never get anywhere. Episodes are dangerous. These are usually when the impulse to act is the strongest, on any self harm or suicidal intent. This[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I’ve not yet had the pleasure of meeting someone with depression who can take their own advice. Somehow, advice on survival, on being positive, on not beating ourselves up with guilt… when others are depressed, and we can offer them[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I really liked the chance to use the guilt tea shtick. I guess what’s sad is that it’s a constant struggle, and pretty much an uncontrollable one. The solution is a tiring one. Please be patient with us as we[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
The first of what I call external paradoxes. Guilt is one of depression’s favourite weapons in its arsenal. It never takes much to feel the guilt of being mentally ill especially in today’s fast paced, demanding society. It’s almost a[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
The thing about depression is that most of the time we have suppressed feelings, that lead them to leaking out at the worst possible times. At the same time, feeling them requires a lot of strength and courage, and involves[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Depression is particularly tricky with this paradox. I call depression a fatal illness only because of this paradox. But it gets confusing. If you’ve ever met a friend who’s depressed and contemplating ending things, you’ll also know that somehow that[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
There isn’t a manual that dictates how someone’s recovery will look like. In the same way there’s no manual that talks about how much effort we should put in. It’s very much a balancing act. Don’t push and I won’t[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Don’t give up giving us hope. I try not to give up because of my family. They give me hope that things will get better. We need hope, always.
Hope isn’t something depression allows much. Even if we’re told there’s hope, it’s painfully hard to hope. Hope means we can be disappointed and hurt. So hope is hard. We want to hope but we don’t dare to hope.