One thing most people don’t know about me and my comic is that very often, I feel like a fraud drawing this, writing of my experiences. What if I’m lying to myself? What if all this isn’t true, and what if I’m actually useless and that I shouldn’t exist?
I recognise that now as self-stigma and self-gaslighting. It doesn’t make it any easier. Days come and go where breathing is hard, and in a time of Covid, people hear that and panic. It’s hard to breathe because of all the weight of guilt and emotion that doesn’t go away unless I start to face it, and grab the vines of self-gaslighting and start to pull them apart. Otherwise… I can only hear the guilt and the doubt. Nothing else.
So… yeah. I need to take my own advice. Rearrange my audience. And instead of dancing in a corner of my own brain… dance with the ones who love me.
One bloody small step at a time.
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