It’s always a good thing to want to help others. But as we approach, are we doing it with the other person fully in the picture?

Often, we stumble – and I still do – into the problem of looking at someone else’s problem from our own lenses. We see what we think they should see. We feel what we think they should feel. So we quickly give what we have to offer, without actually considering if what we see and feel are what is really going on for the other person. When this happens, very often, we can end up hurting others, instead of helping. We end up being in the picture more than the person we’re helping.

So ask not what we can do for others. Ask instead, what others need from us – and see if we have what it takes to offer it to them. Sometimes, it’s a lot less than you think. (And it can also be too much, where we must know our own boundaries and only give what we can, or what we’re comfortable giving!)

*psst* – this isn’t purely about semantics. It’s more of the attitude behind the questions – so don’t get hung up on the choice of words!